But alas, I have survived. I got an FM transmitter so I can play it all day long. And boy do I love it. My friends knew that a music fiend, such as myself, needs an easier means of finding a song, besides looking through the 50-some odd labeled CDs. I'm literally addicted to Amazon.com to buy music. And now that my iTunes finally works, I'm hooked to the store as well.
ANYWAYS...
Now that I can listen to anything I want at any time, life has been so much better. I've listened to throwback jams like Night and Day by Al B. Sure. Love that song. "I can tell you how I feel about you night and day." Now that's a man. No matter what day, you will always know that I love you, I'll always let you know because it will always be the same. DOIN IT! Us 80s babies know all about those incredible love songs. But there's a song I found that warmed my heart and has so much meaning to me now than it ever did.
Polaris by Jimmy Eat World. WOW! That song did it for me tonight. After a night of reminiscing with Day, one of my main ride or dies, I wanted to listen to an oldie but goodie. I stumbled upon Jimmy in the list of artists and saw Polaris and was like yes. This song is so good I'm going to paste the lyrics below in this post.
In this song, it seems as if him and his lover have gone through a rough patch. He tells her he's "traveled east and north." He speaks of mistakes that he knows he's made and that he's "always been afraid." The meaning behind that is he knows he F**KED up. Plain and quite simple. It also seems as if he needed time to go and experience, learn and MAKE MISTAKES. If you do not grow as individuals you will never grow together.
He says to her, "I feel like when I'm old, I'll look at you and I'll know this world was beautiful." What? Who says that? That is by far one of the most amazing lines I've ever heard in a song. To be able to judge the outcome of your time on Earth, simply on the fact that you spent your life with this particular person, puts me in a permanent state of awe. That is incredible. I would literally faint, wake up and propose to the man who ever said that and truly meant it.
Basically, when he comes to her and says all these things he asks, "Can you tell me?" and she responds, "You say that love goes anywhere? In your darkest times, it's just enough to know it's there. When you go, I'll let you be. But you're killing everything in me." Powerful words right there. Again, another song we can all relate to ladies. She telling him she's going to stick by him and she'll always be there and every time he walks out the door, she's going to let him leave but it will break her soul.
And then you hear the bridge and everything seems to be in perspective.
"I'm done, there's nothing left to show. I try but I can't let it do. Are you happy where you're standing still? Do you really want the sugar pill? I'll wake up tomorrow and I'll start. Tonight it feels so hard." It appears that he's done everything possible to make this work. He knows he messed up but as much work that has been put in, it just isn't enough to keep the blood flowing. She makes it harder and harder for him to leave but letting him know that she's going to appear to be strong about this but on the inside her heart in tearing apart.
A serious question, does anyone really want the Sugar Pill? Do you want it to be forced and fake? Some people do just for fear of loneliness or never finding someone ever again. I could never live like this. I want it all, the good,the bad and the ugly. I want the real deal people. Call me naive but I'm a realest. Real love exists and I know it is on its way. That's why I was put here, to love and be loved by friends, family and a true love.
That is one of my particular interpretations. But, how it relates to me is by taking the song in a more literal sense. Long story short, aka I'm not trying to tell you all of my business; you remember sometimes I can be somewhat cryptic, sorry, but private is private. Anyway, again, long story short, for my personal situation, I see it as a girl saying goodbye. She promises to be strong, which she is, but inside she cannot help to feel as if something is missing. When I say to myself, "Am I only dreaming?", it's because I'm usually day dreaming ha. But in a perfect world, during this time apart, we grew, learned, and made mistakes as individuals. Hopefully in the future, if he asks me to "Please answer the door", I'll ask him if love really does go anywhere and in your blackest of holes, did you know it always with you? I let you go as soon as you left, but I never let go of hope. That is the one thing that keeps anyone's dreams or expectations alive, no matter the outcome. But for myself, I'll say this, I sincerely believe that in matters of love and your OWN heart, hope for the best and prepare for the worst. I'm Ready!
A Great Love Throwback: Say Yes (Timbaland Remix) by Floetry
Another great song of Adoration: Nicest Thing by Kate Nash
Polaris- Jimmy Eat World
(taken from www.sing365.com)
I'll say it straight and plain
I know I've made mistakes
I've always been afraid
I've always been afraid
A thousand nights or more
I travel east and north
Please answer the door
Can you tell me
You say that love goes anywhere
In your darkest time, it's just enough to know it's there
When you go, I'll let you be
But you're killing everything in me
Get down on your knees
Whisper what I need
Something pretty
Something pretty
I feel that when I'm old
I'll look at you and know
The world was beautiful
Then you tell me...
You say that love goes anywhere
In your darkest time, it's just enough to know it's there
When you go, I'll let you be
But you're killing everything in me
I'm done, there's nothing left to show
I try but can't let it go
Are you happy where you're standing still?
Do you really want the sugar pill?
I'll wake up tomorrow and I'll start
Tonight it feels so hard
As the train approaches Gare Du Nord
As I'm sure your kiss remains employed
Am I only dreaming?
You say that love goes anywhere
In your darkest time, it's just enough to know it's there
When you go, I'll let you be
But you're killing everything in me
When you go, I'll let you be
But you're killing everything in me
